The Legend of BCFS

This one is a private joke written at the request of Dipta, so please excuse.

A long, long time ago... I can still remember.
How the morning fag used to make my life.
And I knew if I didn’t have my fag.
I might as well be packed in a body-bag.
And delivered to the doctor with the knife.

But Jampot made me shudder,
With freaky cold that freezes your bladder.
Needed that fag more than ever;
Hoped Dadu’s gonna do me that favour.

So I can’t remember if I was surprised,
Or did it hurt my wounded pride
When the smoke to me was denied
The day FAGSTEAL arrived.

So bye-bye, GF Kings good-bye.
Should have shouted then,
But the damn throat was dry.
After whole night of drinkin’ whiskey and rye
The stolen smoke burning in my eye
And the smoke stealer always nearby.

Why didn’t I deliver a kick backside?
Why didn’t I strip his fucking hide?
Why did I bloody just let him go?
Oh, I do believe that it was fate.
Though none of us then would have taken the bet,
In hindsight, that’s how life’s meant to flow.

Now the whole world’s in love with him.
`Cause they are of course, oh so dim,
They love those borrowed reviews.
Why only we are so bemused?

Now we can only watch awestruck.
While Big Chief FAGSTEAL runs amuck.
Should have known we were out of luck.
The day FAGSTEAL arrived.

We started singin',
So bye-bye, GF Kings good-bye.
Should have shouted then,
But the damn throat was dry.
After whole night of drinkin’ whiskey and rye
The stolen smoke burning in my eye
And the smoke stealer always nearby.

We started singin' .... we started singin' ....

Inspired shamelessly from Weird Al Yankovic's "The Saga Begins". Lyrics here.